Even the most passionate and loving marriages can suffer. Some relationships are rocky from the start, while others develop issues over time. Certain problems are particularly important to determine if you still want to continue your marriage or if a divorce might be on the horizon. Here are five warning signs that indicate your marriage is heading in the wrong direction.
One Spouse is Lying About or Hiding Money Problems
One of the most common reasons marriages fail is related to money issues. Generally, one spouse controls the home’s finances like paying bills, budgeting, and handling investments and bank accounts, but that information should be an open book and readily available to the other spouse without hesitation.
Some spouses may develop a spending or gambling addiction that can lead to them hiding money problems that will threaten and undermine the financial stability of a marriage. It can quickly spiral out of control and put extreme pressure on a relationship, not to mention having to deal with dishonesty, betrayal, and anger as well.
This phrase has become a platitude for a reason — healthy communication is essential to maintaining a strong connection. The scope of this expression covers a lot of different areas within the relationship, but if effective communication between partners has diminished compared to the past, it could be a sign of trouble ahead — particularly if the underlying issues are not addressed.
Can’t Successfully Resolve Issues
Everyone has probably heard at some point or another that fighting is part of a healthy relationship. While that is true to the extent that all couples will have differing opinions on matters throughout the course of a long-term relationship (which is a good thing because it exposes new ideas and insights that one side may have never considered), it is only healthy if you are able to resolve the issues satisfactorily.
When couples develop methods to decide arguments that are damaging, it becomes incredibly detrimental to the relationship. This can be anything from avoiding fights altogether, to hurtful attacks on character. If you always seem to “win” arguments, it doesn’t mean you are simply always right — you may be implementing harmful tactics that are slowly eroding at the foundation of your relationship.
Lack of Trust
Couples who are getting to know each other often stretch the truth, especially when trying to impress. They might be falsely enthusiastic or claim to love the same things. People put their best foot forward when meeting someone new; it’s a natural instinct to want to be liked and people may hide their “true selves” in order to do this.
As relationships progress, however, people need to be authentic to develop true intimacy. When partners are deceptive, even for “good” reasons like keeping the peace or flattering, it will create distance. Although some little white lies may occur in relationships, all lies damage trust, and a willingness to deceive is a red flag. When trust has been lost, it takes time and energy to regain.
There is No Intimacy
An intimate relationship is one where people share themselves emotionally, intellectually, and physically. Some individuals close themselves off when feeling negative or unsafe. This can contribute to a vicious cycle, as putting up barriers leads to further distance and resentment. The cycle can be reversed by sharing meaningful words, emotions, and touches, which generates a sense of closeness and safety.
As an illustration of this idea, one study had random participants pair up and ask each other questions about specific thoughts and feelings. After 45 minutes of deep conversation, the couples looked into each other’s eyes for four minutes. These pairs who began as complete strangers became connected, and one couple eventually got married. Intimate partners can deepen their connections by opening up. If you are feeling like roommates, share feelings, touch, forgive, and your bond will tighten.
Ready to Get a Divorce?
If you feel that it is time to end your relationship, the Pasadena divorce attorneys at Law Offices of Christopher L. Hoglin, P.C. are here to assist you. We can explain your options and develop a plan that effectively meets your goals and protects your rights through your divorce.
Call us today at (626) 653-4075 to learn how we can help you.