When families split apart everyone suffers. Divorce completely changes how you live your lives and completely disrupts any routines and normalcy a family had. No matter how much your children tell you that they are okay with the situation, they will likely feel upset and distraught at some times. Parents can also feel upset and discouraged not having their children with them at all times.
However, by learning to co-parent, many California child custody agreements can be resolved. Since sharing custody after a divorce can be a challenging and emotionally difficult process, Law Offices of Christopher L. Hoglin, P.C. is here with some tips to help you get through co-parenting issues as effortlessly as possible so you can focus on the wellbeing of your family.
Remember What is Important -- Your Kids
The one thing that all parents need to remember is that custody is not about the parents. Rather, it is solely about the kids. You should both be doing whatever is necessary to take care of the children and make sure they are happy and healthy.
If your kids need an extra night with mom, dad or a friend let them have it. Doing what is best for children is crucial, especially during this time when they likely feel that their stability is being threatened.
Never Speak Badly About Your Ex
Any divorce comes with challenges and negative feelings towards an ex. While it would be great if people could separate amicably and stay friends, this is rarely the case. Sharing custody requires exes to work together to co-parent and do what is best for children.
It is crucial that your children never hear you talk down on your ex. Keeping things positive and moving in a positive direction is best for your children. No matter how bad you may want to say something negative, just keep it to yourself.
Consider Everyone’s Schedule
If you are sharing custody and your children are older it is important to take into consideration everyone’s schedule. If your children have commitments, like sports, school, band, or any other activities you should factor these into the custody agreement. It would not be fair to only give custody to one parent when a child has prior commitments.
Sharing custody equally and responsibly is ideal. The children should not have to give up their schedules to fit their parents. If something needs to be adjusted it should always be the parents' schedule.
Learn to Communicate
It is crucial that both parents learn how to communicate with each other. Parents should never relay messages to the other through their children. Not only does this put the children in the middle, but it isn’t conducive for growing a positive co-parenting relationship.
Additionally, parents should always relay information that the other parent does not get. For example, if you pick your child up from school a teacher or another parent may tell you something important. It may not have seemed that relevant at the time, but it is crucial that you still keep your children’s other parent up to date.
Provide a United Front
Each parent should be on the same page regarding information about school dates, play dates, and parent-teacher conferences are crucial for joint custody to work. Additionally, it’s best for each co-parent to have a strong understanding of how their child is doing -- both mentally and physically.
While sharing custody, neither parent will get to be around their child for every moment in their life. By communicating these details to the other parent, each can better assist with their children’s needs.
Should I Get a Child Custody Attorney?
If you are concerned that your children’s best interests are not being protected through your custody arrangement, Law Offices of Christopher L. Hoglin, P.C. is here to help you with your California child custody case. Our Pasadena family law attorneys have extensive knowledge of the custody process. We can assist you with filling out child custody forms as well as protecting the rights of you and your children.
Call (626) 653-4075 to speak to our Pasadena child custody attorneys at Law Offices of Christopher L. Hoglin, P.C. today.