When you make the decision to get a divorce, you may feel a wide range of emotions - guilt, anger, sadness, grief, happiness, or even relief. No matter how you feel, the uncertainty can be overwhelming. Here are three tips on how to survive the process.
Accept the Situation
As your life changes, it’s normal to resist moving forward with your life. However, it can drain your energy and make the process even more difficult. But remember, you can’t do anything about what has already happened in the past, or maybe even your current situation.
You can, however, choose how you react despite these hardships. You can also substantially impact what happens in the next minute, hour, day, month, and year if you focus your attention on what you want instead of what you don’t want.
Visualize your future after divorce. Imagine what your life will be like without the problems that accompanied your marriage, as well as the ones that accompany divorce. There’s a reason many people say, “When a door closes, a window opens.” This is why you should look at divorce as a fresh start, a new beginning. It’s an exciting time. You can create the future you want by envisioning it. The more you visualize it happening, the more likely it will come true.
Do Your Research
Every divorce takes a lot of hard work. You will need to prepare a financial affidavit, compile financial documents, review lengthy settlement offers, attend a parenting course, prepare for hearings, and depositions or collaborative meetings or mediation. The more work you do in preparing ahead of time, the more you will be committed in resolving the matter. In return, you will feel more confident and ready to take on the process.
Part of preparing for divorce is also identifying what you expect to get out of the divorce. Take time to think about your underlying goals and forget about taking a position; the solution you think is the only answer for you may blind you to better possibilities.
If you focus on your goals, you will understand when to be quiet and listen. If you can hear your spouse’s point-of-view and understand his or her underlying goals, then other possibilities will occur to you that will work for you both.
Focus on Your Future
Pay attention to what you say. Be aware that you are attracting more of what you don’t want to you! Want to attract more good into your life? Focus on the good stuff and what you are doing to move in the direction of the good stuff. Talk about the wonderful life you will be living after you are divorced.
Also, trying speaking to others about what you want. Not as in “what I want for me,” but as in what you want for everyone important to you – your family, community, profession, and the rest of your world. Then listen and be willing to accept what they offer. Sure, you can do it alone, but you don’t have to. The future is yours for the taking.
Contact a Pasadena Divorce Lawyer
The Pasadena divorce lawyers at Law Offices of Christopher L. Hoglin, P.C. understand how hard it can be to get a divorce. We have seen the severe impact it can have on families. Because of this, we realize the importance of handling such matters with care and compassion. If you need assistance with any aspect of the divorce process, our team is here to help you.
Call our Pasadena divorce lawyer today at (626) 653-4075 to set up a consultation regarding your case.